It’s been a year now…

…and it was so much easier to do than I thought it would be. What I am talking about really has nothing to do with losing weight (although there is some research that it actually does affect it) however, it does have EVERYTHING to do with my health.

One year ago today, I quit smoking. With the exception of one night, I have not smoked a day since then. I quit cold turkey. I say that I have no clue how I did it, but I do, and it has everything to do with the guy I was dating then, and the love of my life who I am with now.

A few days before I decided to quit smoking the guy I was dating at the time, decided that he wanted to split up after three long years. It sucked, it was awful, but it’s over and I’ve moved on and I am in a WAY better place now, with a much better person. I won’t say that my ex is the reason why I smoked, that is not fair at all, and I am the only one I can hold accountable for smoking, but I will say that I smoked to have another reason to be around him, to have another thing in common with him. I smoked before I met him, but not as much as I did when we were together. I know it’s lame.  I didn’t see the point of quitting if he was going to be smoking. I know I know this sounds soooo pathetic but i guess I’m kind of rambling now. It was just one of those things, after a meal, we would smoke together, at the bar we would go out to smoke together, when we would work on fixing up the house, we would take smoke breaks together, you get the picture. It wasn’t that he was the reason I was smoking, but he was definitely not a reason I was quitting either.

Well, 3 years later, it all comes to an end right after new years. I denied it then, but I’m so much better off without him now. A few days after we broke up, my friends and I went to the bar, and well, drank, alot, and with that I smoked, ALOT. So needless to say the next morning I was in pain, but mostly my throat was killing me from all that I smoked. And I realized then at that moment that I no longer had anyone to smoke with, and I was feeling very disgusted with the thought of smoking, that I  decided there was no reason to continue. So I haven’t.

It was really hard in the beginning. But I had someone new in my life, well kind of. I have been friends with this person for almost 5 years now, but  we got back in touch with each other when he came back from Korea in December.  (He is from Texas, I am from Ohio, so we only really spoke over text, and email). In March I went to go see him and things went incredibly well, and I came home without that hole in my heart that had been making it ache so much. I came back no longer as single Cookie. I now had my boyfriend T.Love. And I love him so much. And having him in my life helped me to not pick up a cigarette again. He thinks smoking is gross, and of course I wanted to impress him since this was a new relationship. He also was the first person to tell me that he was proud of me for quitting. I had gone about three months cold turkey so far, and one day, out of no where, he sent me a text saying that he wasn’t sure if he had said it yet, but that he was so proud of me for quitting and knows that it is a hard thing to do.  So whenever I craved a cigarette, I would think of him and how proud he was and that now I have someone to live for, so it no longer made sense throw my health away on a cigarettes. Now my T.Love lives here in Ohio with me and we don’t smoke, together 

I really thought I was a smoker for life, and never thought it was an option for me to quit. I enjoyed it too much, guess I found other things to enjoy. I’ve been reading a lot of your blogs lately, and everyone has wonderful stuff about their accomplishments of 2008, and I never posted one, because I didn’t think I did much, I didn’t think I had much to be proud of, but as I’m writing this I’m realizing that I was wrong. I quit smoking, I found my future husband, I got my new puppy Boo, and my new kitty Peaches, I have a great circle of friends, and I’m realizing that I have the power and abilities to do more than I ever thought I could.

Who knows, maybe a year from today I will be writing a similar post, of how I am even healthier because I reached my goal weight, and that my future husband is my husband (or fiance), and that my wonderful circle of friends, is still my wonderful circle of friends only plus some more babies (wink wink Mr. and Mrs. W, and you too Mr. and Mrs P, Baby B needs a sibling!) and maybe even another marriage!

Well, I do know, that I am very hopeful for 2009 and already know it is going to be a good year. Sorry if this post turned mushy at points, it really was supposed to be strictly about quitting smoking, guess I wanted to share more!

~Cookie~