Last Tuesday I made a decision to check out weight watchers. I went to the meeting to see what it was like and I absolutely LOVED it. The leader was so energetic and motivating and I was floored by how supportive everyone was of each other. I mean, I guess it’s kind of what I expected, but I think it was on a whole other level than what I truly anticipated. So of course, immediately after the session adjourned, I went straight to the counter, paid my dues, and stepped on that scale (and then quickly stepped off after seeing the results). Thankfully, my level of excitement for this new experience consumed me so much that it didn’t allow me to engulf myself in self pity over the very large 215lbs that they stuck on my little book as my starting weight. No, that didn’t hit me until later the next day or so. After I got my start up stuff all in order I sat down with the group leader Brenda and some fellow WW newbs and we went over the plan, our points, the rules, the suggestions, the tons of cool stuff that I will be suckered into buying in the near future (like later that night), and all that good stuff. I was swimming with excitement because I finally felt like I was taking control and admitting that I need help. I love help! Why didn’t I ask for it sooner? There is less stress, I can learn from other peoples experiences as well as create my own, I get to have some guidance, and it’s way more fun with other people. So with this new plan, things will be different now, I am starting fresh (again) and I will be taking an approach that is quite new to me. So here are some of the changes, new rules, starting points, goals, etc, so on, and so forth…
- Weighing In: I will no longer allow myself to weigh myself everyday like I used to. In fact, T.Love did me a favor and hid my scale. I have no clue where it is, I hope I don’t freak out, but I will do my best to remain strong. I will now weigh myself once a week at my WW meetings. Typically Tuesday, unless there is a schedule conflict and I have to attend on a different day.
- Food: 28 points a day. 35 extra points for the week. 3 servings of fruit a day. 2 servings of veggies a day. No more calorie counting! I am just as much relieved about this as I am scared of this. I always always check my calories and record them ( and I typically go WAY over my goal too). I always found it to be a pain, but it was also a comfort thing. It will be nice not tracking calories, points sound like more fun anyways.
- Exercise: Not too much change here, well goal wise at least. I have definitely slacked a bit in the gym department this past month so I need to improve that. My goal for this month will be to workout/exercise 3 times a week. Next month will be 4 times, and the following will be 5 times. Next month I would also like to get a little more specific and detail how much cardio, upper body, lower body, and core I would like to target each week, but for now I am taking baby steps and just getting my rear in the habit of moving a bit more.
- Blogging: I haven’t been nice to my blog lately. I barely make a post a week now. I’m not sure why really. I still read all the blogs that are in my reader, and I love to read them as much as I can. I think that since I am not a very good writer, I feel that I have no place to be writing in a blog, even if I really enjoy it. But I need to continue to remind myself that I do this for me. It helps me focus and it allows me to connect with other people in cyber land that are going through what I am going through, or who have already done it. They are my motivation and by doing more than just reading the blogs that I love so much, I get to participate and share in the circle. Like I said above, I need help, I love help, doing this helps.
- The Stats:
- Starting Date: 2/17/2009
- Starting Weight: 215lbs
- Starting Upper Arm: 14”
- Starting Waist: 40”
- Starting Hips: 49”
- Starting Thigh: 30”
- Starting Bust: 37.5”
- Starting Under Bust: 33.5”
- 1st Goal Weight: 194lbs (Lose 21 pounds, 10%)
- 2nd Goal Weight: 175lbs (Lose another 19 lbs, 10%)
- Final Goal Weight: 160lbs (Lose final 15 lbs)
Well, that is what I have so far. Today after work will be my second meeting. I am very pumped for it, although, I feel like I have gained weight this week. While I did not do as great as I hoped on my first week, I did track EVERYTHING I ate. I tracked all my points and still have 12 week points left. So yes, I ate more than I should have, but I think I am allowed to eat my extra weekly points right? I will have to ask tonight at the meeting. I only worked out once this week, so that needs to be stepped up. And I think the meeting leader will tell me about the activity points tonight too because she said not to worry about those on our first week. As much as I WANT so bad to lose today at weigh in, I don’t expect to, but I just do not want to gain, so as long as that doesn’t happen, I will be OK. I will report my updates tomorrow. Later!
that I really suck at losing weight.
that I need help with this.
that I will NEVER get anywhere if I keep eating as much as I do and exercising as little as I do.
that I need more structure.
that just because I have successfully lost weight on my own before, it doesn’t mean I can do it on my own again.
that I am addicted to food.
that I am GREAT with excuses.
that I cannot go home after work before I go to the gym, because I will NOT go to the gym if I do.
that winter needs to be over because I have an urge to go running through the park with my dog Boo and the urge is not typical for me so it needs to get warm out so that I can do so before I lose that feeling.
that I need a coach.
that I need to stop binge eating, I think I do it more often than I realize, and that’s bad.
that I don’t always have to restart my diet on a Monday.
that I know I can do this, that I will do this, that I too can inspire some day, the same way other bloggers have inspired me.
that I need to get back into blogging again, I’ve slacked a little.
and my MAJOR DECISION:
I think I am going to join Weight Watchers.
I got my income tax returns the other day, and finally figured out what I want to use it for (other than paying debt), I want to join weight watchers. I will be attending a free meeting today to see if it is in fact something I will enjoy and then I am signing up if I do, which I’m pretty sure that I will enjoy it. I am hopeful and excited for this. I think having a “coach” like figure through out this process will be very helpful for me. I will report back tomorrow and let you know how it went and what I think!
So, I have just realized that I have not weighed in in quite some time. Well, let me rephrase that, I have not SHARED my weight with all of YOU, in a long time. I pretty much weigh myself everyday, but, I’m selfish, and I apparently was never taught to share as a child. However, I’m certain that there is an obvious reason for not sharing… Could it possibly be the results (or lack thereof). Maybe. Well, anyways, here it is, drum roll please! Oh, wait, drum rolls are for good exciting news??? alright! screw the drum roll and cue something else that is not for good things…..
Surprisingly, I’m not all that upset for the lack of weight loss lately. My last public weigh in was January 12th, and I weighed in at 208.7, so I have gone up .7 pounds, which sucks, but at the same time, I have to be honest with myself. I really haven’t been trying that hard the past week or 2. You reap what you sow, or something like that, right??? I haven’t thrown in the towel or anything, so I am hopeful that better results will turn up in the future. I just have to refocus a little. I’m not too worried. I know I will get there.
Sooooooo, that bandwagon that I was supposedly on. The one that so many of us eagerly jumped on at the beginning of the year. Well I have a confession. I’m off of it. But don’t worry! I found a NEW bandwagon. Yup it’s the “I’ve fallen off the Bandwagon” Bandwagon. It’s the hot new craze as this month ends. What can I say, I may not exactly be a trend setter, but I know popular when I see it. So I had to see what all the commotion was about. Well, I did. For about an entire week too. My ‘excuse’ at the beginning of the week was pure laziness, but as the week progressed it was very much about stress eating, slight depression, and tons of anxiety due to the current situation with baby BDawg. You can read about it here, here, here and/or here. (Thanks so much to those of you who left such nice comments. It REALLY means a lot).
Now, this new bandwagon offers an extremely exhilarating ride and I will be the first to admit how sweet it tastes. Actually, it tastes a lot like pizza, ice cream, peanut butter, chocolate, taco bell, and cake. Yum. This new ride however, seems to be missing their scale, and I kind of miss the scale from the “healthy life” bandwagon. The new wagon also doesn’t have anywhere for me to write down what I eat. I also have to
pretend like I don’t know how to move at all. I have to just sit around all day, who wants that. There must be a stronger gravitational pull on this one as well, because I feel soooo much heavier on this ride compared to the other one. The driver here is also somewhat crazy. She drives like a MANIAC, going blindly into everything, without caring that she might crash with the thunder thigh truck or ba-donk-a-donk mobile. Frankly, I am a bit nervous, and feel like I might get sick if I stick around much longer. So tonight this wagon is pulling over and letting me off so that Sunday I can set out on my search for that oh so loving “healthy life” bandwagon that I once adored. The one with the luxurious scale, the delicious fruits and veggies, yummy home cooked meals, the safe driver who plans her routes before hand, the encouragement to get up and move, and where the gravitational pull is not all out of whack. Yeah that one. The one I said I would ride until I could navigate it’s routes on my own without it’s assistance. So as I am finishing off my bowl of ice cream, and waiting for my “stop” I will leave you in saying the oh so cliche statement: I will start over again, tomorrow. No seriously, I will.
I was hoping I would be able to post some better news today about Baby B-Dawg (read my last post about him here). Unfortunately I don’t get to. This whole thing is consuming me. I went to the hospital yesterday to visit the P Family. I was hoping that there would be better news. They told me things that we did not want to hear. The tumor that they found on his little kidney was diagnosed as stage 3 cancer. He’s 5 months old, how is it possible that it is stage 3? They will get results today from the bone marrow to make sure its not in his bones. The P family is going through a really difficult time and could use all the thoughts and prayers they could get. Their next steps are to do a biopsy of the tumor, do some other tests, some chemo, and maybe they will be able to remove it, I hope and pray, that they will be able to remove it.
TLove and B-Dawg
Myself and BDawg
(This is also the first time I have ever held a baby, I was nervous, but I fell in love)
BDawg and his Mommy
BDawg and his silly Daddy
BDawg and Myself at my BFF Meow’s Wedding
He may only be 5 months old, but he has already touched so many of our lives. He has changed mine. I know that he will be around to continue to do so for a very long time. But he’s just a little guy, and he’s fighting a big fight, so all the extra hopes and prayers will help big time!
I have a ‘framily’. I have a VERY AWESOME ‘framily’. This is what I call the close nit group of friends that I hang out with and that are there for me all the time. They mean the world to me. They are the ones who make me feel like I have a place in this world, they are the ones who pick me up when I am down, they mean the world to me. I never thought I would have a group of friends so close to me that I would call them family. I knew I would have friends, but these guys are the ones that my world keeps spinning for. There are 10 of us in this group. I won’t use their real names, but here they are: Meow and Husband Mr. Football, Reverend X and Boyfriend Mr.G, Little S, the love of my life (T.Love), myself, and the P Family which consists of Mrs. P, Mr. P, and their sweet little baby that T.Love and I like to call B-Dawg. He is my reason for writing today. And if you would like a great background on us and some cute pics you can check them out at Meow’s personal blog here and here. Check them out, her blog isn’t a weight loss or fitness blog but it’s fun to read. This post will have nothing to do with losing weight, but you should still keep reading because this little guy and the P family all need our prayers today.
Like I said before, B-Dawg belongs to the P famliy. He came into their lives (and ours too) in early September of 2008 and has brought us so many smiles. Before I met B-Dawg, I was very nervous around babies, and never really cared much for them, not in the way that I was some sort of baby hater or sumthin, I’m not that kind of person, but mostly because I thought they were so fragile and I thought I might hurt them, so before him, I never held a baby before. This guy changed my tune. I can’t get enough of him. I want to hold him all the time and see him laugh and smile as much as possible. He stole my heart so much that I now have baby fever and often find myself saying that I want one… I used to say that I don’t want kids. But I do now. Seeing B-Dawg and Mama and Daddy P and how much they love each other and how awesome of an experience they have gone through makes me realize that I do want that and that I will someday have a family of my own with my other half, T.Love.
(Thanks Meow for the pictures)
Well, yesterday was Mr. Footballs birthday. We went to their house for some dinner and cake and to hang out. The P family unfortunately could not make it. Mama P had been saying that something seems different with B-Dawg, so they took him to the hospital last night. I did not think that much of it. I thought he was sick, you know, like the way babies get a cold or something. I wasn’t too worried because in my mind nothing can happen to him except growing up. Look at this guy. There is NO WAY that anything can happen to him. T.Love and I left Mr. Football and Meow’s house around 10 and we had not heard anything yet from the P family. I still didn’t think too much of it. Then, around 11:30pm, Meow calls me. I thought she was calling to talk about last nights episode of Lost. I WISH she had called me to talk about last nights episode of Lost.
She was crying. Mama P called her. They found a tumor on B-Dawg’s Kidney. I didn’t know that was possible. How can that happen? This morning they are meeting with the oncologist to get more details and find out what can be done. If it can be removed. If there needs to be chemotherapy. I didn’t know they could do chemo on a baby, can they do chemo on a baby? I am at work right now, I have so much going on today at work. All I can think about is B-Dawg. All I can think about is what do I say to Mama and Daddy P. They mean so much to me, I don’t want to see them hurting. I feel like telling them it’s going to be okay just isn’t enough. So for now, I am hoping and praying for them that it will all be okay. That this is not that serious. That the technology we have today can fix this. They found it early. That is good. And I am writing this post to ask you to think of this baby today and pray for the P Family.
I know a lot of you already frequent Roni’s Weigh but in case you haven’t been there before, she is having a giveaway. Click below for details.
Check out the scale giveaway on Roni’s Weight Loss Blog! I can win an Affordable Food Scale from Eat Smart and so can you! Click here for contest details!
and, over here at Every Gym’s Nightmare there is another giveaway you should definitely check out as well… I did!
Ooooh, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme! and you too of course!
I LOVE shopping! I’m addicted and it’s very bad, and I like online shopping too (it’s easy, I’m lazy, we’re a match made in heaven, that is if you ignore the part where I have no money). I have noticed though, that I like to spend a lot of time researching what I buy to see if I can find something better for the same price, you know, more for your money right? I imagine that many other people are like that as well. When I’m shopping online, that “researching” actually plays to my advantage because by the time I look at EVERY (and I mean EVERY) comparable item, I tend to not want it anymore so then I save me some money and I don’t end up buying it. YAY for Cookie!
Well, I’ve realized that lately, I’m doing that when it comes to eating as well. I am finally becoming more calorie conscious. That’s good right? RIGHT! I am looking at my food a lot more differently and I really hope this sticks with me. I’m always asking myself, how many calories is that? Will it even fill me up? Is it worth it to even put that in my mouth? What can I have that will be just as satisfying, but less (or equal) calories? Apparently there are plenty of things! Now I still have a long ways to go before I am living a truly healthy lifestyle, but one more step stepped, is one less step to step. Confused? I am. Well anyways, below are some ‘more bang for you calorie buck’ examples that I received in one of the emails that I get from Spark People.
Here are the 300 calorie competitors:
The rest of the article has some 350 and 400 meals as well. You should check it out here. I love being able to see how much more food I can eat for less of a calorie punch, maybe that’s why I’ve been eating more salad lately…. Now if only the “researching” part about my shopping would kick in too. You know, where, by the time I find a more fulfilling, less calorie option, I will no longer want it. That would be pretty nice. Oh and I just wanted to share my current meal addiction with you because I am lovin’ it soooooo much these past 2 weeks and I am pretty sure that I have had it EVERY morning. All it is is some oatmeal, with a tablespoon of peanut butter and a banana cut up in it. I know, so basic, I feel like some sort of amateur to even mention it, but I wanted to share my love with you. Don’t worry though, in a week I will most likely move on to a new meal. I’m a bit of a food whore like that…
PS: Sorry blog, I didn’t mean to call you stupid yesterday, I love you lots and will be nicer from now on (even if you are purple forever).
stupid blog turned purple… grrrr, I haven’t had much time online lately (hence the lack of posting and commenting) which is why i haven’t turned my blog back to a different color… I know its in the code somewhere, but im not very well versed in the whole web design thing, but I will figure it out. ive wanted to learn it anyways, now i have a good reason too. (dont get me wrong, I love purple and all, but it doesn’t exactly go with the rest of my page)
OOOOOHHHH, GUESS WHAT!?!?! we FINALLY have internet at home, so yay!!!! now I can actually do my blogging from home, (and maybe I will get some stuff done at work now too…)
I just have to say that my boyfriend is so wonderful in so many ways. He has been very supportive in my trials to lose weight, but last night he definitely tipped the scale when it comes to supporting me in this.
Now T.Love is a funny guy, and he makes me laugh every moment that I am with him, but last night was hilarious. You see, I am VERY good at talking myself out of working out, it is a SERIOUS flaw of mine. Especially when the roads are bad because I don’t like to drive anywhere even when it’s nice out. SO. Last night, I was very wishy washy about working out to one of my videos, trying to justify it that I really didn’t need to workout, even though I skipped the 2 nights before as well. I mean, come on, I can lose just as much weight sitting on my ass, right? RIGHT? Ok, maybe not, but that’s where my wonderful, oh so supportive, guy comes in. He basically made me do my video, AND, he did it with me… And this wasn’t any manly P90X video or even a Billy Blanks tae bo tape, it was my very girly, very dancy, Bikini Body Boot Camp DVD from Shape Magazine, and he did it all! And boy I wish I video taped it. It was so funny watching him do the girly dance type moves. No complaints either. And it doesn’t end there. Twenty minutes into the video I decided I couldn’t do anymore, I was dying! But, NOOOOOO, Mr. Supportive over here wanted to keep going (even though I could tell it was kicking his butt too). So, I couldn’t bare to watch him finish MY video without ME, so I had to jump back in, and lo and behold I made it to the end. If he wasn’t busting his butt with me, I would not have finished. I did the same video last week and quit 17 minutes into it then too. It really is a tough video.
I’m so glad he did that, that he did the video with me. Like I said, I’m very convincing when it comes to talking myself out of a workout. Now I feel like I can still reach my goal of 4 workouts this week. I love him, and I couldn’t do this without his support and encouragement.
